Daddy's Rule to Suitors

1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. 2. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.3. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure...

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Marriage Quotes from Kids

Question: How do you decide who to marry? "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." -Alan, age 10 "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." -Kristen, age 10 Question: What is the Right Age to Get Married? "Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person forever by then." -Camille, age 10 Question: How can a stranger tell if two people are married? "You might have to guess based on whether they...

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Fancy Restaurant

A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works. Finally he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?" "No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, eithe...

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Posted in Humour